Tales From Army Life: All alone

Thursday, August 25, 2011

All alone

Today is one of those days where I feel totally and utterly alone.Which is silly because I'm not. Then again maybe it isn't so silly. My Husband is taking a full coarse load, working 45 hours a week, and we just found out he has to do a 30 hour practium. Needless to say even when he is home he isn't really here. Rob also has a hard time adjusting to new schedules, which means this has been a hard week for him.

Our dog is being extra naughty, and I have had to get mad at her several times today. Peter is being extra needy, as in he cries if I'm not paying attention to him. And Rob is napping downstairs on the couch. I know we can't have two stay at home parents, but it would be nice if when he was here he was actually here. I am really tired of feeling like I am a single parent. I know it isn't his fault he is gone so much, I don't blame him. I'm just tired. I feel all alone, like there isn't a single person in the world who is interested in my wants, and needs. Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I am so busy all day long ensuring everybody's needs are met I don't have time to even consider what I need.

I should probably just get over it, because I doubt it will ever change. This is probably one of those things that no one ever bothers to mention when you have kids. I don't know how many times I was told things like "breast milk is best", and" make sure you always put him in the car seat," but no one bothered to say "Hey your practically not a real person anymore, your just a mom, so don't bother trying to have desires, needs or hobbies."

I feel the need to assure everyone that I am blissfully happy with my life. My husband is fantastic, my kid is perfect, my dog is wonderful and crazy. I have the things I labeled most important. I am just struggling to adjust to the changes, and not so secretly wish there were two of me.

2 comments:

Janell R. CropperAugust 25, 2011 at 4:49 PM
Amy, you're doing awesome!! I know from experience it's so hard when the husband is working, schooling, and trying to support the family, but of course, as everyone says, it's worth it. I wish I was down there to play with you, so you didn't feel so alone!
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AmyAugust 26, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Thanks Janell, I have friends and people to do stuff with. Yesterday I was just feeling alone in the parenting world. It was a really rough day, I had so much to do, and all while entertaining a baby. However this really is how I want things. And I am quite happy!
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Welcome to the Whitmores

We are an LDS family of 5. We are just starting our military life and are looking forward to all the new adventures. We have a wonderfully sweet and excitable dog named Cleo, and we ALL adore her. Currently we live in Fort Hood, TX.

Rob is loving Army Life, he recently earned his Spurs, and is hoping to be promoted to Sgt. Before the close of 2015. Right now he is assigned to the training room, and when they are "in the field" he gets to be the battalion commander's driver.

Amy is a stay at home mommy who loves to read, cook, make cakes, play with her kids, and exercise. The exercise discovery is relatively new, and She is still learning what she can do. Running is one of her favorites, but only in nice weather. Aerobics and weight lifting are also favorites although she hates Yoga, and firmly believes no exercise video stretches for long enough at the end. Some of her favorite things to cook are: roasts, and soups, as well as all Mexican food.

Peter is a tenacious 3 year old that doesn't forget anything EVER. He has an impressive attention span, greets everyone he meets with "Hi I'm Peter whats your name?" and usually plays the same game/toy all day. He loves fresh fruit and Veggies especially strawberries, blueberries, broccoli, and celery. He also loves cheesenummies (cheeseburgers,) but only if he can dip them in frenchfry sauce. He is obsessed with all things firefighter, and even had a birthday cake shaped like a firetruck! He spends most of his days driving around the living room in our cozy coupe putting out fires, when he tires of that he will push is actual firetruck around putting out fires, and if he gets really desperate he will run around pretending he is a firetruck (noises and all) putting out fires. Peter loves to carry on real conversations. He expects you to pay attention, listen and respond. If he feels you are lacking in any of these ares he will sternly say, "Excuse me, are you listening to me?"

Eli is an independent 2 year old who prefers to do things on his own, and by himself. Eli loves to swing and slide, he is also rather fond of meal time, pushing cars around the floor, giving hugs, his binky, and of coarse his blanket. He has recently discovered the joy of playing trains, and his play has stepped into the world of imagination.

James is just this side of 6 months. So far he has spent a lot of time telling us what he doesn't like. Most of which he demands you to fix immediately. He loves carrots and baby oatmeal cereal. At mealtime it is impossible to feed him enough. He prefers to fall asleep in his jumper and has recently discovered a deep love for silky blankets, and pacifiers. He cocks his left eyebrow up almost constantly, and when he cries it vaugely reminds me of the dead engine in my '87 jetta. He loves eye contact, and being tickled. He is a Joy to our family and an amazing blessing.